I didn't like it, watched about 40 minutes of it. Should've guessed.

I won't be posting much, if at all, for a long while. l was going to end this journal with a comment on the love book I'm still reading. It was the reason I started using live journal in the first place. Seems stupid now, a lot of choices I've made seem stupid now. We don't find love, we choose to love.

I don't like the Rainer Maria Rilke quote as much anymore. "For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation." I still don't like his other quote. "Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer."

The wording on wikipedia is not what I remember. Particularly the second quote. The now's were in different places. However, they're still the parts I don't like. "In life and in love, there is only the moment, the now... this understanding however does not mean we should live for the moment."

I’ve been reading a book about relationships. From it’s jacket, “What is Love? Why is it central to our happiness and personal growth? And how can we find it, nourish it, express it, keep it alive? In Handbook for the Heart, thirty four of today’s best-known spiritual leaders provide us with answers and illuminate the many ways we can fill our lives with love.”

Bare with me, it’s worth reading. “Drawing on their own personal experiences and insights, these celebrated authors inspire, enlighten, and edify with original essays written specially for this book.” Edify means instruct or improve (someone) morally or intellectually... I didn’t know that one. Anyways, the book is a collection of essays, which as a whole already make up one of the best books I’ve read. Ironically, I’m finding many of these “best-known spiritual teachers” to be deluded, naive and or down right thick. Then again it could be me.

I recently read a quote by Voltaire which I think fits well here. “If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him." In regards to morality, I disagree. We do not need a god to know right from wrong. In all honesty, I think such a belief is thoughtless and dangerous. What is necessary? Empathy, consciousness? You could argue consciousness implies we have what most religions call a soul. If that is true, if we are not just intelligent animals, if who we are is not just the product of our experiences, it follows some god or gods are necessary. All the same, even the Christian God, who I believe offers the best example of love, is for the most part, incapable of love. 

Love requires more than just empathy or consciousness. I believe to love is to want for another not just what we believe is best for them but what they want for themselves. [edited April, 15]

Sunrise on the beach is the most beautiful destination in my city.

If I were a crayon I don't think I'd care much about what color I'd be, and I like crayons, a lot. Ever gone to Target to buy a box of crayons because you wanted to smell them? Probably not huh? Anyways happy color right, maybe pink or purple? [ Why do people associate orange with happiness? ] But I'm not always happy, more often than not but sometimes I feel blue-ish, often I'm horney so green is appropriate, even sometimes I feel numb or thoughtless like a white canvas or black room. My "ideal" woman would be like me.

It's too cold when I'm not ready for it. I don't think there's really a temperature that too cold. I like it when it's cold. I don't sweat, my skin doesn't get oily, I generally feel better than when it's hot. Also, I really like snow, though I've seen it snow only once in my life. I must have stood outside that terminal for about half an hour just looking up at that sky. Anyways weather wise I've been pretty spoiled. I'm from South Florida. Which I think explains the not ready for it responce.

I don't watch the news, not just becase I think doing so is a waste of time but in truth, most of the stuff on the news doesn't interest me. The weather is no different, which is fine if you live in Hialeah or Hollywood Beach, not so fine if your in New York for a week. The first few days it was in the 40's. Suddenly it was in the teens. I was dressed like a happy idiot, with christmass tree and all, and swore I almost lost my ears because of it. : /

A home you share with friends. My sister, mother and father are three of the closest friends Ive ever had. Although we think very differently, I love them and I know they love me.

If I were a superhero, my superhero name would be Pedro.
()]: )

I don't have such a friend but if she could hear everything I was thinking too, then yes. We'd probably go crazy at some point. : /

I ran my first 5k today, 21:56. I new it was under 8 minutes per mile but just found out that it's almost under 7 minutes per mile. I'd never ran a 7 minute mile. ( :) That's two minutes off my daily miles. I is happy. I is also swore, shins hurt.

I used these toe shoes my friend Matti got me. They felt great during the run. First time I run on concrete with them. I had used them on a treadmill and on the beach.

Technically this wasn't my first 5k. I had walked a couple miami corporate runs with some friends back in 2005 and 2006. My friend Jim was injured both times. Good times though. Lastly, foodallergy5k.org did a great job on this event. Event coordinators were very friendly. Special thanks to Sandy who handed me my packet when I got there around 7:28am, took it back and held on to it for me. She even found me and handed it to me after the race.

Baseball because my friends played, because I wanted to play when I got older and because I believed I could. Besides 1st, 2nd and 3rd place, they used to give out individual trophies every year. Every team had a most improved and a most valuable player, so did every league (age group). For several years, I was the least valuable player in my group. There were seasons I didn't get one hit. Still I believed I could improve, that I could play at the next level. That it all came down to how much I wanted it, to practice. I still believe this lie, I hope I always will. Chance plays a big part in our lives, however chance is not fate. There is no such thing as fate.

Invictus by William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.